This motion was filed yesterday in Jefferson County, Alabama. Enjoy. And, obviously, Roll Tide!

Comes now Jon B. Terry, as one of the attorneys for the Defendants and would move to
continue the current trial setting of January 4, 2010 and as grounds therefore would aver as
follows:

1. This case was set for trial several months ago before certain monumental events occurred
that were beyond the anticipation of the attorneys and the clients.

2. Since the setting of this case, one of the two great college football teams in this State has
reached levels on a national scale that have not been enjoyed by any team in this State in 17 years next preceding the date hereof.

3. Currently, one of the two great teams in this State are playing for a national championship
and has enjoyed an undefeated season and clinched the SEC Title Game.

4. Most of the attorneys representing all of the named Defendants have tickets and reservations to be in Pasadena on the 6th day of January, 2010, which date would conflict with the trial date as travel times and schedules for the game overlap the trial as currently set.

5. In fact, the Honorable Jim Lloyd has children that live in the area and is scheduled to be
with them in California to celebrate the game and the Tide s success.

6. Attempts to resolve this conflict directly with the Plaintiffs has been unfruitful as the
reply has been that they are for the other great team in this State who did not make the playoffs.
Unfortunately, that response remains short-sighted as they may one day find themselves in the
same position that the Defendant attorneys are in and, unfortunately, the BSC Title Game is no
longer scheduled on January 1st, but has been moved to January 7th.

7. In checking with your Honor s Office, it was determined that there are potential quick
dates available during March, the only known conflict being that Jim Lloyd has recently been
elected President of the Birmingham Bar and must attend a conference on March 10-12. Other
than that, the Defendants can be ready to be first out during any available week for trial during the month of February, March, or April and believe that there would be no harm, considering the
magnitude of this event and its impact on this State, and the fact such an event only comes
infrequently during a person s lifetime and is an achievement of such a magnitude that all
involved in this litigation should want everyone to fully participate in this achievement.

8. It is also understood that many of the witness involved are trying to acquire tickets to the
game and/or scheduled to be at the game in Pasadena on January 7th and certainly any juror
selected to participate will likely be preoccupied and not able to devote their full attention to the
case before them during the week of January 4, 2010, and therefore, the parties would be
prejudiced by the distraction caused by such a major event of such significant importance to so
many people in this State.

9. ROLL TIDE!! ( although my secretary is for the other great team of this State, she feels
that I need to attend this championship game!); and may the Longhorns be defeated.

______/s/ Jon B. Terry________________

JON B. TERRY
OF COUNSEL:
BAINS & TERRY

]]> http://thebflow.com/lawyers-doing-something-funny-257/feed/ 0 http://thebflow.com/in-case-anyone-wants-to-know-what-the-flow-wants-for-christmas-246/ http://thebflow.com/in-case-anyone-wants-to-know-what-the-flow-wants-for-christmas-246/#comments Fri, 11 Dec 2009 19:23:18 +0000 tide182 http://thebflow.com/?p=246 You could probably start here, with some Authentic Tim Tebow Tears.  Sweet.  The whole experience was also immortalized by YouTube here.

A snippet of what to expect:

Up for sale is an actual vial of Tim Tebow’s tears. These tears, squeezed from multiple tissues and shoulders at the Georgia Dome, may not be the last tears we see from Tim Tebow, but they may certainly be the most valuable to any and all Gator Haters throughout the world.

After being held to 13 points and being unable to score any points in the entire second half, Tebow let these tears fly, just like his chances of winning the Heisman or another National Championship as a senior. His red zone interception during the third quarter likely sealed the Gators’ fate, ensuring Alabama’s shot at the BCS National Championship game.

Here’s some information about these tears, how you will receive them, and what they can do for you:

> These tears will come in a glass vial similar to the one shown in this aucition’s pictures. Due to the volatile nature of Tim Tebow’s tears, finding a recepticle to contain these tears can be unpredictable, but it is important to know that you will be getting actual tears from the ducts of #15.*

> Though little experimentation has been done on these tears, early studies have shown that these tears may have the ability of non-surgically circumcising a child as well as returning one’s virginity upon dousing.

>  The Vial of Tim Tebow’s Tears makes a great Holiday Gift for Florida State, Georgia, Alabama, LSU, Tennessee, and any other Gator hating fan.

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask on the listing!

Oh, and lot’s of this – the 12 to 25 second mark being the highlight.  To be fair to Timmy lovers everywhere, he was dating this consolation prize, which, you know, is okay.

I can’t stop laughing right now.  Did you see him turning down his volume a little bit on the Rocky repeat track so you could hear better?  Steelers fans are the pits.  P.I.T.S.  And now they’re out of the playoffs too, phenomenal.  Here’s another example of the world class Pittsburgh fans on YouTube, unintentional hilarity will ensue (warning, NSFW explicit language – shocking, I know, from PIT fans):

My favorite, to one of his “rival YouTubers:” “You’re a f*ckin’ p*ssy, kid, best thing you can do is just stay off of YouTube or [some mumbojumbo I can't understand], you ain’t got what it takes.”  Here’s another “you got a goddamned second rate f*ckin football team with a goddamned third rate f*ckin football quarterback.”

Uhm.  Yikes!  Slowly back away from the computer Steelers fans, slowly back away…

Old School^20

Hobson’s Choice! Hobson’s Choice! Hobson’s Choice!

Q: I know many fans recently have been questioning how bad the passing game has been. In the Lions game I heard coach Brian Billick talk about how Carson has been playing badly in our current system where he has to manage the game and be perfect on passing downs. Is that true and can the style of play really affect a QB by that much? Coach also said that our bread and butter has been the 15- to 20-yard passing plays with three wide receivers and we haven’t been playing to that system. What are your thoughts on this and in general about our passing game?
–John F., Columbus, OH

JOHN: It has to get better, obviously, but I’m old school on Palmer.

To emphasize this, he refuses to edit his work. It’s old school, bitches.

He’s 9-3 and that’s what you want out of your quarterback.

Yes, finally someone who gets it! The Cowboys won the Super Bowl in ’95, and that’s what you want out of your head coach. The Bengals are 9-3, and that’s what you want out of your extra-point game. Tiger Woods is the number one golfer in the world, and that’s what you want out of your husband (What a cultural reference! Topical!).

He throws TDs when he has to (Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Baltimore), he doesn’t throw many picks

He’s in the bottom-half of the league in interception percentage, but why let facts get in the way of a good old school argument?

and he’s tougher than Under Armour. I’m sure Ben Roethlisberger and Joe Flacco and Tony Romo and Matt Schaub and Kurt Warner and all the other guys that have numbers better than Palmer would trade them for his crunch-time efforts.

Because they’re incapable of doing the same, obviously. They don’t have the coolness, or the silent presence of a redeemed Tank Johnson, or the old-school arguments favoring them that are necessary when coming big in the clutch.

(Oh, and by the way: clutch is BS)

The problem with the passing game is not Palmer. The guy many people feel is his best receiver, Chris Henry, is out for the year, they lost the most reliable receiver in the NFL when T.J. Houshmandzadeh left in March, and the guy they drafted for the future, second-rounder Jerome Simpson, must not be able to pick up the system because he hasn’t been active for a game this year.

It’s not so much that the offense is different.

It is sooooo much this. The system has changed because of the personnel, but it surely isn’t the same. There’s no more no-huddle or three-wide sets incorporated into the gameplan, which is a large reason why the passing game is not the same.

It’s that Palmer is throwing to a different cast of characters than he was in 2005 and 2006. They’ve got talent, but it’s nowhere near where it was in the pass-happy days because it’s not shaped, honed, and synced up like it was. I think you’ve got to give Palmer and offensive coordinator Bob Bratkowski

Shocking

credit for nursing this transition well enough to find enough points to get nine wins.

Wha..is he actually serious? Enough points to get the win? They’ve played badly in the last month, stop acting as if this has been some artfully crafted plan by Brat to “just win”.

A large part of the credit falls to the defense, but the offense’s ability to adapt to a new corps of receivers with a more effective, committed running game is also a huge factor.

Does anyone else notice how Hobs completely switches the question around here, spinning a negative observation into a positive one?

Maybe Billick is right. Maybe the bread-and-butter was those three-receiver sets that got those intermediate plays. But guess what? They don’t have those three receivers. And not only that, what did they get for going three receivers all the time? A lot of 8-8 seasons and Pro Bowl selections and Palmer getting pounded.

No, a good offense spoiled by a terrible defense and special teams unit. Not everything is related, people. The Bengals not having a top-notch offense this season isn’t the cause for their improved defense.

Laveranues Coles, the starter opposite Chad Ochocinco, is on his first year in the system and it shows. He hasn’t been much of an answer downfield, but he’s also flashed with some big plays and provides professionalism, not to mention a blocking talent that has helped the running game take off.

I’m going to have to switch things up mid-column here (a twist worthy of M. Night Shyamalan himself), and do something that firejoemorgan.com did well.

Hob’s Mind: I’ve been praising this Coles’ signing since it happened, so I can’t look like an idiot here. What’s that thing that’s good about him again? Um, oh! I’ve got it! He’s professional! But that isn’t enough. Maybe he’s a good blocker or something. I can’t really verify this, since I’m old-school and slam six-to-eight cans of Mikey’s specially imported Coors Light before the game, but who the hell’s paying attention anyway?

If Maurice Purify and Daniel Coats don’t drop red-zone TDs the past two weeks, are we having this conversation?

Hob’s Mind: The despair I felt as the Bengals squandered yet another red-zone opportunity made me wish to see the red color of life, blood. Yes, I think like this too.

Q: No true Bengals fan could ever take 9-3 for granted,

Hob’s Mind: Except for those non-well wishers at that god-awful revolution they have. I’m pretty sure the Crane Brinton model specifies that at this point in their so-called revolution, it’s time for the strong, devilishly handsome, stud leader of the old regime to step up and teach those who wish him pain and make fun of his oh-so-perfect old school ways a harsh but correct lesson. Damn them to hell– we’ll teach them. We’ll teach them.

JOHN: With a solid running game, great defense, and two-time Pro Bowl quarterback, nobody is going to want to play you in the playoffs. Agreed. The penalties are absolutely ridiculous and they can’t keep happening. If they play like they did the last two weeks, the Vikings will blow them out in the Metrodome.

Hob’s Mind: I’m going to get a couple of old school licks from Mikey for saying that, but I have to tell the truth some times. Now it’s time to make some stuff up for all of those critics. It’s time to get old school.

But I must now go and commit my mind to other challenging endeavors, such as creating a metaphor worthy of Mikey’s stature, and finishing my screenplay, “A Misunderstood Gentleman: How A Sense For Redeeming And Treating His Scribes Just Right Made One Man Larger Than Anyone Expected—Or Knew—Or Appreciated—Or Thanked Him For—– Except For One Special Guy.” I’m trying to get Todd Phillips as a director; without even checking my facts, I know he’s a guy who knows old school.

You’re looking for hope?

Ya, D-Bags?

How about a defense that barely gives up two touchdowns a game?

The defense is better, obviously, but I have to question using this stat to point its dominance out. It’s been helped by 1) Playing horrible, horrible offenses, and 2) Getting strong field position because of Huber’s punts. But why look at any of this? Only points matter, damnit. Using new-age stats like DVOA is so un-old school.

And, so far, to overcome the latest inane penalty.

As opposed to all of those penalties with meaning behind them.

Q: I am wondering how good are we really?

Uh, oh, Sam. You dareth question how splendorous this nifty Bengals’ band is?

But you’ll have your answer in the next two weeks.

In two weeks: “Sure, these two losses have hurt. But you know what? I’m an old school guy, similar to my flawless boss and lov—well no, it’s not time to announce that yet. But anyway, the Bengals have indeed been stale in defeat. There’s an old school guy saying, that only us old school guys know, that goes, ‘Replace that staleness with wonder. Wonder bread’. I must run now, as that modification of the official old school guy saying, although against the Orthodox Policy of Old School Guys Around the World (or as the new whippersnappers call it, the OPOSGAW), is instead of the perfect metaphor I’ve been trying to make in pleasing Mikey, the perfect pun. That’s my analysis, and that’s my final word: Book in. Now I’ll hit post, no editing being necessarily.”

He rambles a little bit, but pretty good.

…

…

To get paid.  (May we one day get paid enough to marry this woman and sleep with these two on the side…)

[Side Note: NFL Picks WILL be back tomorrow!!]

Armageddon for a Title…Sort of

Jeff Green’s Mom (8-4, 1142.6 points) vs. Tampa Bay D (8-4, 1246.6)

It was only a short 3 days ago when the league message boards were ablaze for the first time this season with an angered Sir Chucks-a-Lot rising to defend the honor of the mother of a former basketball player at his alma mater’s fantasy team, but the steam is still simmering off those coals.  In his passionate speech, GM Von Althann noted that the Mommies are 6-1 in their last 7, and have posted an impressive 105.6 PPG since week 6.  The authors of this post have further noted the stable of talent within the mother’s womb what with Brady, Grant, Wells, Fitz, Favre, and a resurgent Maroney leading the team back to respectability.  Still, only one of Favre or Brady can play, and one must wonder whether the GM should have spent less time researching his own points scoring records and more time working on a trade to bolster his soft WR2 spot.  Certainly HGH looked to be in the market…  On the other side of the  ball, we have Cinderella story TBD, whose playoff fate is indeed tbd and whose story will be one to follow through the postseason.  Brian Westbrook’s injury was somewhat mitigated by Ced Benson’s return to health, but despite being the 3^rd highest scoring team in the league it is difficult to envision a playoff run for a team centered around Tony Romo.  For this week, however, thanks in small part to JGM’s benching of Braylon Edwards and his 11.2 points, and in large part to some brutal, brutal matchups for Mommies, we like the TBD to complete the miracle run and crown themselves regular season titleists for the first time – big.  TBD not so unclearly, 120-85.

“This is My Mexico” – and the rest of the league supports that…

The Athletic Supporters (6-6, 1387.6) vs. The Destroyers (5-7, 1096)

We thought about holding off on this preview to the end, but we just couldn’t wait.  Rumor has it NBC is looking to flex this matchup into the primetime slot as it will likely come down to a Monday Night showdown between Aaron “Still Waiting” Rodgers and Greggy “Spider Beetle” Jennings vs. Donald “the Duke” Driver.  This is what it’s all about as the highest scoring team in the league is, for the very first time, its marquee franchise.  GM Buckley has been spewing heat all season, angering the fantasy gods, about his team’s excellence, even going so far as to drop this bomb on rival GM Lescroart of HGH (unedited): “”im just convinced that i have the best team i have ever owned and dammit it has taken me YEARS to build it.”  Well, the “best team [he] has ever owned” is one loss and some bad luck away from missing the playoffs.  Will it happen?  Certainly if it does not it won’t be for lack of effort on the part of yet another rival GM – note how many rivals this gentleman has! – GM Flaherty of The Destroyers.  Let’s go to the tape!  ESPN foresees some difficult matchups for the Supporters, and combined with some favorable ones for the Destroyers, this really could be a closer game than expected.  At QB GM Flaherty has to be excited about the potential for Donnie McNabby vs. Atlanta, a team rocking the 29^th ranked pass defense as per FO stats.  While Aaron Rodgers certainly can put up numbers vs. Baltimore’s porous secondary, he must also be wary of sack-fumbles and INT’s against the wolves of the AFC North.  Another key is over at the RB position, where fantasy god Chris Johnson squares off against the defense maybe best designed to contain him, and the one that held him to a mere 3.8 points in his first matchup.  While we hardly predict a repeat performance, we are quite sure the team that has allowed the fewest 20+ yard runs in the NFL this season will hold CJ below his recent standard of 40000, greatly aiding the Destroyer cause.  Frankly, we think the Supporter point base this week is going to have to come from Vernon Davis and the beloved Chad “Oh How I Miss Thee” Ochocinco.  Davis we feel comfortable will put up numbers.  Will Ocho in the new, boring Bengals O?  We say yes, but will it be enough?  We love Vinny J vs. Cleveland, we love the Jacobs/Barber head to head which we predict will re-introduce Jacobs to his fantasy owners, and we love the Saints D to have a sleeper huge day vs. Washington.  In my best HBO Lederman card voice: OK, Jim, ESPN has it 125-117 Supporters after 3 days of football, I’ve got it 0-0 after one day (Thursday), 100-85 Destroyers after two days (Sunday), and… … … … 115-114 DESTROYERS AFTER 3 DAYS, JIM, ITS GONNA BE A GREAT FIGHT, BACK TO YOU JIM!

Ain’t Never Been Nothin’ But A Winner

World F*cking Champs (6-6, 1135.8) vs. Unleashed Monsters (6-6, 1225.8)

In order to echo the apropos words of Bear Bryant next week, these two teams each need a win in this pivotal showdown for a playoff spot.  Sadly, the matchup got off to a rather inauspicious start Thursday night – not that it could be helped with those two circus acts masquerading as NFL teams on the field – with the Monsters out to an early 5.2-3.4 lead.  While this game may not have the fanfare and fireworks of the previous matchup, it is this battle which will determine the playoff lives of the most teams this weekend.  As outlined earlier this week, many a team will have a strong rooting interest in this game, and if you were an advertiser for something cool having to do with smartphones, you might want to throw your ad up on the “refresh boxscore” link to this one.  The Champs are currently predicted to come away with a 125-117 win, and a perusal of the matchups certainly backs up ESPN’s assertion that we will see a barnburner here despite the slow start.  Matt “See, I was Irrelevant Back in College Too” Forte has frustrated owners all season, but in this one, glorious outing GM Miller will get to watch him romp all over a pathetic St. Louis Rammies squad ranking dead last against the run.  This plus the Air Peyton to Wayne vs. a suspect Tennessee secondary is sure to put points on the board.  That said, the Monsters boast Philly “I Was Jay Cutler Until Jay Cutler Took Over Everything Bad About Jay Cutler” Rivers vs. Cleveland plus Randy Moss and Marques Colston vs. anyone is a nice little trio.  These two managers have been quiet on the boards this season, choosing instead to work the back channels of league discussion to make their presence known.  This week both groups of players do the talking, but we like the Champs to saddle up for a playoff ride of vengeance after last year’s disappointing conclusion to a regular season title season.  Champs, 118-112.

The “All-Your Keepers Seemed Unfair At the Start of the Season/League” Bowl

Tig Ol’ Bitties (5-7, 1066.2) vs. Team 15 (6-6, 1203.8)

It’s hard to believe, but this will be yet another season of disappointment for a team that counts Steven “Please Trade Me” Jackson and Adrian “Why Doesn’t Anyone Talk About the Fact I Fumble All the Time” Peterson as its two long term players.  Likewise, when Team 15 slotted LDT and Brian “Questionable – Grade II Concussion” Westbrook into its keeper slots several years ago, many thought we were looking at a dynasty.  Alas, neither team has tasted championship glory, although Team 15 has been a staple of the league’s playoffs since its inception.  Still, GM Gavigan’s squad is more reminiscent of his beloved late-Marino era Dolphins playoff staples than a modern day Colts or Pats squad, and when he finally opted to let Westbrook hit the draft this season we here at the Flow had to wonder if we were seeing the beginning of the Jimmy Johnson era…  Next year LDT will be gone too, so you will be looking at an entirely new squad next season for the dreaded Team 15.  One has to wonder if the Bitties will heed this warning and shake its squad up sooner than that.  No matter, neither will be defending a championship, and the most exciting part about this matchup will be GM Buckley’s frantic texts of glee as he watches the Bitties pull off the upset, knock 15 into the consolation bracket and rebuilding mode, and make his dreams of a playoff run to a championship a reality…at least for one more week.  Bitties in a stunner (except ESPN predicted it too) as 15 looks to turn the page, 109-77.

The “50 Cent I’m Inta Havin’ Sex I Ain’t Inta Makin’ Love” Bowl

My Couch Pulls Out But I Don’t (6-6, 1169.2) vs. Big Fake Boobies… Are Cool (5-7, 1143.6)

Here we find an intriguing matchup between two raging libidos, and we particularly note the difference in styles of the East and West coasts respectively.  While East Coast JayFromJersey is blunt and direct with his statement of fact regarding how he deals with women, West Coast (ORIGINAL A.I.M.!) BFlow is more playful and upper body oriented.  Not entirely sure what that all means, but I do know I like it.  The West Side comes into the matchup on a startling 6 game losing streak, one that has all but eliminated them from playoff contention, as they find themselves needing a blowout win, a WFC loss, and to outscore T15 by more than 60 in order to squeak in.  In their favor is the fact that ESPN is predicting a huge week from them, and we are predicting a dismal week for Team 15.  Against them is the fact that ESPN is likewise predicting a huge week from the East Coast representative of the 50cent bowl, and we are also predicting a WFC upset of the Monsters.  Still, this game should be an entertaining battle between two feisty teams with the hottest/most promiscuous cheerleaders in the league.  In fact, rumor out of San Diego has it that GM Flood got caught in a love triangle with 4 different cheerleaders, drawing focus away from his team and resulting in his dreadful late season swoon.  JfJ, on the other hand, has come in hot, winning 3 of 4 despite a close setback to JGM last week that may still cost him a playoff spot.  We love the Boobies matchups, especially Mendenhall, AJ, and Schaubie, and therefore like the upset here, opening up a whole mess of playoff possibilities…including the au natural’s sneaking in the back door…pun intended…to the playoffs.  Fake Titties, 116-109.

Just the Least Exciting Game of the Week

HGH V: Title Resurgence (7-5, 1250.2) vs. 1-2-3 Boom Toby (4-8, 1152.6)

Just as GM Lescroart feared, the Resurgence missed the opportunity to kick GM Pratt and co. while they were down, and they now square off against one of the hotter teams in the league.  The lingerie models to the previous games Penthouse freaks, the Boomers are just sexual teases.  There was no bigger headline story during the preseason than GM Pratt’s decision to eschew the drafting tactics that led him to be the winningest manager in league history in order to “get some of Buckley’s sexy back from him,” and the decision has rendered his team largely impotent this season.  Still, the team is teeming with keeper potential, and only injuries to SuperFreak, Run DMC, and DeAngelo Williams will keep the squad from running the consolation table to the first overall pick next season.  In a fun little side story, GM Gavigan has actually pulled into a dead heat with GM Pratt on top of the “most wins in league history” leaderboard with 34, and I suppose the greater Greenwich and Gainesville areas will be tuning in to see who can hold that honor into next season.  GM Lescroart was asked about this earlier in the day and responded with a less than classy “I can’t even see those standings because of the glare of my championship ring,” to which GM Pratt is rumored to have responded “no, that’s not the glare that’s just because you’re so far down [ed. Note, GM Lescroart is dead last] in them you can’t even see me.”  A little rivalry brewing for next year?  Perhaps.  As for this season, HGH may have spent too much time resting on his laurels as he has watched his chance for the regular season title slip by the wayside while getting blown out in back to back games weeks 10 and 11, and now has Roddy “I Just Went from Matt Ryan to Chris Redman” White and Steve “%&#*@&” Slaton parked on the bench for this pivotal seeding matchup.  We like the Boomers to continue their roll here, but watch out for the defending champions in the playoffs, they will not go down without a fight…  Boomers, 109-91.

OK, now on to business!!! First, the matchups with records in parenthesis, this should give you an idea of the parity in the league:

HGH V: Title Defense (7-5) vs. 1-2-3 Boom Toby (4-8)

My Couch Pulls Out But I Don’t (6-6) vs. Big Fake Boobs Are Cool (5-7)

World F*cking Champs (6-6) vs. Unleashed Monsters (6-6)

Tig Ol’ Bitties (5-7) vs. Team 15 (6-6)

The Athletic Supporters (6-6) vs. The Destroyers (5-7)

Jeff Green’s Mom (8-4) vs. Tampa Bay D (8-4)

Now, let’s go team-by-team with their scenarios in order of standings which can be found at the bottom of the post:

1) Tampa Bay D

- These lovable, erstwhile doormats are merely a victory over rival Jeff Green’s Mom away from their first regular season league title.  A loss this week, however, combined with an HGH victory AND HGH maintaining its 3.6 point advantage over the D would result in these gentlemen falling to the 3 seed and losing a first round bye.

2) Jeff Green’s Mom

- Arguably the league’s luckiest team, JGM is tied for the league lead despite scoring only the 9th most points.  As a result of this, they will not win many tiebreaker situations they may fall into, but they are fortunate enough to be playing the team tied with them for first in the final week meaning a win equals a regular season title, points scored be damned.  Should JGM lose and 3rd place HGH win, there is almost no chance they will accumulate enough points to protect their bye slot and they would become a prime candidate for a first round upset in the 3 v. 6 matchup.

3) HGH V: Title Defense

- While it may at first seem like a blessing for the defending champs to be squaring off against the only team eliminated from playoff contention on the final weekend, to be fair the Boomers have been the highest scoring team in the league over the last two weeks as they have finally shed the “too sexy for our scoring system” label while embracing spoiler status and preparing to do battle in the consolation bracket for 1st pick.  With a win and JGM loss HGH is almost assured of the 2 seed, however a loss could realistically leave them anywhere from 3rd to 6th.  This may seem unusual considering they have not formally clinched a playoff spot, but only 4 of the 5 6-6 teams can win next week and realistically only 3 of them have any shot to win any potential tiebreakers.  So for all intents and purposes, we will be seeing HGH attempt to defend their title in the playoffs this season.

4) The Athletic Supporters

- By far the highest scoring team in the league, the Supporters somehow still find themselves fighting for their playoff lives on the final weekend by virtue of having seen the most points scored against them as well.  Ironically, HGH is second in both points scored and allowed.  Regardless, the Supporters are in with a win, and due to their incredible points advantage would win almost all tiebreaker scenarios which could result in finishing as high as 3rd.  That said, this team could also finish out of the playoff picture entirely should Team 15 and My Couch Pulls Out But I Don’t both win, and the Supporters lose.  Each of those other teams will be favored in its game – as the Supporters will be in their showdown with the rival Destroyers – so it really may be a win and in, out and out situation for one of the league’s major market franchises.

5) Unleashed Monsters

- A solid team that has rebounded from a 1-4 start to storm into the playoff picture, they are, almost certainly, in with a win over World F*cking Champs, a result which would also all but eliminate the defending regular season champs.  With some help the team could finish as high as third, but as low as 6th even in a winning effort should the Supporters win and Team 15 win big.  It is theoretically possible for the team to miss the playoffs in a winning effort, but that would require the aforementioned 6th place winning scenario PLUS a Couch Pulls Out win in which CPO also managed to overcome a 56.6 point deficit – highly unlikely.  With a loss, the Monsters can still make the playoffs with a CPO loss and a Team 15 loss where the Monsters maintained their 22 point advantage.

6) Team 15

- Always a threat, Team 15 is once again in the thick of the playoff hunt.  These gentlemen are in with a win and maintenance of their 34.6 point lead over CPO.  Should they blow that point lead in a winning effort, they would need either the Unleashed Monsters or Athletic Supporters to go down.  If Team 15 go down this weekend, and given their matchup with the lowest scoring team in the league they should not, they will need a CPO loss to the Boobies, and a WFC loss to the Monsters.  While the Supporters are the safest of the 6-6 teams in terms of making it in with a loss, Team 15’s scenario of making the playoffs while losing is probably 2nd most feasible amongst the 6-6 teams.

7) My Couch Pulls Out But I Don’t

- And now we’re into the land of teams needing a little bit of help.  Even with a win to send them to 7-6, the CPO’s cannot make the playoffs without overcoming a point deficit of at least 34.6 points (to Team 15) should the 4th, 5th and 6th place teams ahead of them also win.  The team will almost certainly be in with a win and a loss by any of those teams ahead of them at 6-6; the only way this might not happen is if the WFC were to beat the Monsters and then also overcome their current 33.4 point deficit to the CPO’s.  If the CPO’s lose they will be in major trouble, and would probably need a Monsters win over the WFC combined with a very low-scoring loss for Team 15 vs. the Bitties in which the CPO’s could overcome the aforementioned 34.6 point deficit in order for them to squeak into the playoffs.

World F*cking Champs

- The lowest scoring of the 6-6 squads, the defending regular season champions have fought hard this season to remain in the hunt.  They are participating in the only head-to-head 6-6 vs. 6-6 game of the weekend, so they can establish themselves over the Monsters in the pecking order with a win this week.  Still, even with the win, the WFC will likely also need a loss by the Supporters, Team 15, or CPO to make the playoffs as it may be difficult for the team to overcome its 33.4 point deficit to CPO (and much greater deficits to the other 6-6′ers).  It is almost impossible to envision the WFC getting back to the playoffs with a loss, as they would need losses by both Team 15 and CPO AND to overcome 68 and 33.4 point deficits to those two teams respectively in a losing effort.  They will also need to be sure to make up a 7.8 point deficit to the Boobies who will have had to have won in this scenario in order to take that tiebreaker advantage.  In short, this is must win plus help.

9) Big Fake Boobs Are Cool

- How the mighty have fallen, the Boobies stormed back from an abysmal 2-11 regular season last year to win the consolation bracket and number 1 pick in the draft this season, and when the team marched out to a 5-1 start the “return of a dynasty” talk was all over SportsCenter.  Sadly, the team has dropped 6 in a row, and now needs major help to get in.  Here’s what it will take: 1) Beat CPO while outscoring them by a minimum of 25.7 points, 2) WFC must lose to the Monsters and not make up the current 7.8 gap in points in the Boobies favor, 3) Team 15 must lose to the Bitties and must score 60.2 fewer points than the Boobies do this week.  They obviously cannot get in with a loss.

10) The Destroyers

- Another major market franchise, the Destroyers have frankly never really competed at the highest level, and this year is no exception.  While not mathematically eliminated from contention, they are so many points behind some of the teams ahead of them that even with a win over the Supporters – something that the rest of the league will be widely cheering for – it would be almost impossible for them to make the playoffs.  As their team owner himself was quoted as saying this week, “this is our Super Bowl,” and is it ever, a glorious chance to end a rival’s season in misery.

11) Tig Ol’ Bitties

- Like the team above them, the Bitties are an important factor in this weekend’s action, though in all likelihood not with any relation to their own playoff potential.  Almost all of the scenarios involving the 7th-9th place teams making the playoffs involve a Bitties victory over Team 15, but as the lowest scoring team in the league this seems a tall task.  Yet another disappointing season for the squad with two of the top keepers – S-Jax and Adrian Peterson – in the league.

12) 1-2-3 Boom Toby

- The league’s all-time winningest franchise has suffered through its worst season ever after making the gutsy decision to “go sexy” on draft day, a 180-degree shift from their standard “tried and true veterans” policy that had worked so well for them in years past.  That said, the young team is starting to come around, will certainly have a say in who will be holding the 2nd bye spot, and will be a force to be reckoned with in the consolation battle for 1st overall selection next season…just in time for the league to abandon its no snake draft policy

Wow, I’m not sure if your head hurts at this point, but mine sure does!!  Here are the hard-to-believe standings through 12 weeks, we will leave names omitted, and come back with a full game-by-game preview later in the week as lineups are set:

]]> http://thebflow.com/fantasy-league-ridiculousness-216/feed/ 1 http://thebflow.com/suspended-really-what-is-this-russia-200/ http://thebflow.com/suspended-really-what-is-this-russia-200/#comments Thu, 19 Nov 2009 19:40:37 +0000 tide182 http://thebflow.com/?p=200 Uhmm, this kid – suspended by his school for his radical new haircut – is welcome at dinner at my place whenever he wants.  If he ever makes it to the NY area both he and his father are encouraged to join us at Phebe’s to watch the games.  Especially his father:

Awesome

You should probably check out the video at that link above, its having trouble embedding into WordPress.  You’ll see what I mean about his father…

“Quick Update: I was reading my colleague Peter King’s take on the Belichick call, and I think this is telling. He had this sentence in there:

Let’s place the odds of Brady getting two yards at 60, 65 percent. The odds of Manning going 72 yards to score a touchdown in less than two minutes … that’s maybe 35 percent.

So, Peter was giving the Patriots about a 60-65 percent chance of winning the game if they went for it, and about 65 percent chance of winning if they punted. So that’s about even, right? Of course, it’s not even because the Colts did not have a 100 percent chance of winning if the Patriots failed on fourth down — not even close to 100 percent chance. As we have discussed, there was a reasonable chance that the Patriots could keep them out of the end zone. And there was also a chance that the Colts would score too quickly and the Patriots would have time to score themselves.

So even though Peter compared the Belichick move to Grady Little’s Pedro Martinez follies — “I hated the call … it smacked of I’m-smarter-than-they-are hubris” — his own math suggests the Patriots’ best chance to win the game was to go for it.”

It’s typical to think of teams with great passing games and previously ineffective power blocking as “finesse”, but any opponent harboring that assumption about the current Bengals is making a very big mistake. This is as much a power team as any AFC North bully could be, with its stacked lines and inside running, and the schematic variations tell the story of a line with great confidence and continuity. If the Bengals capitalize on their hot start down the stretch, the line will be a major factor — with or without Andre Smith.